April 15, 2010

green advice

goodness knows, we all want to be eco-friendly.  this mcsweeney's list might help:
Eco-friendly alternatives to running water in the bathroom so your new boyfriend doesn't hear you.

Blast locavorian timpani band on solar-charged iPod before excusing yourself. Connect to recyclable cardboard speakers for extra effect.

Wait until he falls asleep, then stuff his ears with applicator-free non-bleached tampons.

Demonstrate new bio-fuel powered vacuum cleaner on post-industrial fiber carpeting. Ask him to finish the room while you excuse yourself.

Biodegradable colostomy bag.

Ask him to open several fun-sized fully compostable SunChips bags before bike ride to sustainable fishery. Quickly excuse yourself while he struggles with nature-sanctioned packaging.

Go in the bushes outside.

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